Am I To Be A Creation Machine for The Dopamine Drained... And "A Moment Alone"

Within this dopamine drained hyper saturated media world the artist must become a content creating machine. An empty vessel spewing out what is within, without time to think about what is even coming out, or whether or not it needs to or should be shared. You don't need to see my shit. Not everyone should be Piero Manzoni (an artist who sold his own canned shit… and yes, he did make a lot of money from it, because of course he did).

Should I empty myself, always generating content, without much thought and allow myself to be consumed? I just have to create right?

Create content, create art, create an Eldritch abomination merging them both, create create create.

Of course artists and "creatives" always needed to put themselves out there, and make until they became content creation machines before we even called it "content." The greatest artists, I hear, were obsessed and I'm sure a few of them were energetic hypomanic bipolar or adhd, damn them and their luck. I can't really be that. I'm tired with wear and tear. I supposed I will never be great. But I'm pretty okay with that. I'll settle for mediocre, just good enough to make a couple bucks.

I know I'm not supposed to speak like that, but well, fuck it "art" has damaged me and used me and lied to me and making it for me is more of a compulsion than a love story.

So, I will create with a sense of confusion and uncertainty of the purpose. I still got that existential bull that makes me question, so I tell it to shut up so that I can do what my body tells me. Here we make for the mass human consumption. For the broken and lost fools that are tied to their flashing screens. Don't mind me I'll just create. In a way doing that makes sense to me right now anyways.

Should I cross post this little blog entry onto Medium? Should I link to it on LinkedIn? These are the questions I'm constantly having to ask myself. Where does the attention economy want me to point this post?

I hear gaining a footing in this creation space takes a shotgun approach while never being quite sure what your aiming at. I hope that at some point I hit something in the darkness to give me a direction. I've heard I need some type of following, some type of community... do I even want a community? That would make me very uncomfortable. I can't go to the same coffee shop twice in a row because I don't want to be that guy. The guy always showing up alone. The guy that has no where else to go and sits for too long. But now I need a community. I'm on the OCPD spectrum and avoidant personality. That isn't my game.

Um... so... with that said... My social media adventure continues. After posting various videos of time lapsed speed paintings using my iPad and Procreate on my tiktok page and then pushing that to all the other socials, I've decided to mint some of the better works as individual NFT's on objkt/teia and wherever else I feel like.

Check out my newest artwork, "A Moment Alone," inspired by a song that I heard while scrolling through TikTok by another random human by the name of "Wildmoor" who also seems to be trying to figure out how to "make it." Click this Link for a quick making of video and Click here to purchase this image as an NFT on the Tezos blockchain